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Where can we go when we need to recover from the loss of not having had good parenting?

Bowlby, a psychiatrist and the father of Attachment Theory, with core understandings of personal development through good bonding with parent and place says there is nothing in our psyche that prepares us for bonding that is distorted by incest, abandonment, or rejection.

In a Wisdom of Elephant Wilderness Encounter, Shirley, diagnosed as manic-depressive, had experienced an incestuous relationship with a father who had a drinking problem, and a mother who "turned a blind eye". As she observed the elephant mothers larger around their little calves so that they felt safe to play freely she realized she too had found a safe place to mourn the loss of good parenting. For the first time in her life, Shirley felt safe enough to express her grief.

It is psychologist, Melanie Klein who says, “Nature mourns with the mourner” and suggests that one way of recovering from this loss is to find goodness in the world and in ourselves.

Parents try their best to take care of their children, but none of us are perfect, and all of us see the world through the filter of our past, especially if any deep wounds remain unhealed.

If this is you, please feel free to reach out to participate in a Life Counseling session of a Wisdom of Elephants Wilderness Encounter, you deserve it. I am contactable at

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